Successful people know exactly what to say, how to say it, and how to make it count. A subtle change of words can change the outcome of a whole conversation. Using words that talk straight to the part of the brain that is free from maybes and responds to reflex gives you a fair advantage in conversation and can result in you getting your own way more often.
#1 I’m Not Sure If It’s for You, But
Opening a statement with the words, “I’m not sure if it’s for you,” causes the listener’s subconscious brain to hear, “There’s no pressure here.” By suggesting that they may not be interested, you naturally increase their intrigue.
The word “but” negates everything that was said prior, so when you say to somebody, “I’m not sure if it’s for you, but…,” what the little voice inside your listener’s head hears is, “You might want to look at this.”
When you say to somebody, “I’m not sure if it’s for you, but.. .,” the little voice inside your listener’s head hears, “You might want to look at this.”
- “I’m not sure if it’s for you, but would you happen to know someone who is interested in (insert the results or your product or service)”
- “I’m not sure if it’s for you, but we have plans on Saturday and you’re welcome to join us”
#2 Open-Minded
When introducing a brand-new idea, start with, “How open-minded are you?” This will naturally attract people toward the very thing that you’d like them to support. Everybody wants to be open-minded.
- How open-minded would you be about trying this as an alternative?
- Would you be open-minded about giving this a chance?
#4 How Would You Feel If?
The real world tells us that people will work far harder to avoid a potential loss than they will to achieve a potential gain.
By introducing a future scenario with the words, “How would you feel if…?” you allow the other person to time travel to that moment and imagine the emotions that would be triggered at that point.
- How would you feel if this decision led to your promotion?
- How would you feel if your competition passed you?
- How would you feel if you turned this around?
Creating these conditional future scenarios using the words, “How would you feel if…?” gets people excited about their future and gives them a reason to move either toward the good news or away from the bad news.
#6 When Would Be a Good Time?
The preface “When would be a good time to…?” prompts the other person to assume that there will be a good time and that no is not an option. It’s exactly what to say.
- When would be a good time for you to take a proper look at this?
- When would be a good time to get started?
- When would be a good time to speak next?
#8 Simple Swaps
The psychology behind this technique is that it involves turning an open question into a closed one, resulting in you receiving a guaranteed outcome or answer.
A simple change of wording puts you in control. Swap the phrase, “Do you have any questions?” with the improved, “What questions do you have for me?”
“Do you have any questions” implies they should have questions and may make them feel stupid. It encourages them to go away to think about it. “What questions do you have for me” promotes an easy response that they have no questions. It means they have made a decision and can avoid the “I need time to think about it” statement.
- “Can I have your phone number” to “What’s the best number to contact you at”
#9 You Have Three options.
The words, “As I see it, you have three options,” help the other person through the decision-making process and allow you to appear impartial in doing so.
People hate to feel manipulated and nearly always want to feel like they made the final decision. When someone needs help deciding, using these words can help narrow their gaze, reduce their choices and make it easier for them to pick.
Start with, “You have three options”, finish with “What’s going to be easier for you?” and watch people pick the easiest choice they previously found so difficult to make.
#10 Two Types of People
Help people to choose by removing some of the choices and creating easy options. Decisions are easier when the options are polarizing. Your goal is to create a statement that presents choice and then allow the other person to pick.
Asking people to decide for themselves who they are with the Magic Words “two types of people” prompts a near-instant decision. The second someone hears, “There are two types of people in this world,” the little voice in their head immediately wonders which one they are, and they wait with bated breath to hear the choices.
- There are two types of people in this world: those who resist change in favor of nostalgia and those who move with the times and create a better future.
#11 I Bet You’re a Bit Like Me
“I bet you’re a bit like me” often result in the other person comfortably agreeing with you.
It can help just about anybody agree to just about anything. It is even more powerful in a conversation with a stranger.
- I bet you’re a bit like me: you enjoy working hard now, knowing that it will pay dividends in the future.
- I bet you’re a bit like me: you’re a busy person who’s always juggling to get everyone done.
#12 If… Then
By creating “if… then” sandwiches, you can position guaranteed outcomes that are very difficult not to believe.
- If you decide to give this a try, then I promise you won’t be disappointed.
- If you give me a chance in the role, then I am confident you will thank me later.
- If you’re prepared to give this a try, then I’m certain you’ll see compound results as early as the first day you try it.
#14 Most People
When you tell people what most people would do, their brain says, “I’m most people, so perhaps that is what I should do too.”
Actually, indecision is the biggest thing that stands in the way of progress, and these words can help jump people out of procrastination in a flash.
- What most people do is complete the forms with me here today.
- Most people in your circumstances would grab this opportunity with both hands, knowing that there is almost no risk.
#16 What Happens Next
In consultative discussions, it’s your responsibility to lead the conversation, and following the sharing of the required information, your role is to move it toward a close. You do not ask them what they would like to do; you just tell them what happens next
- “What happens next is that we are going to take a few moments, complete some of your personal details and get things set up for you to receive everything in the quickest possible time”
#17 What Makes You Say That?
When facing an objection, the worst thing you could do is to respond with a counterargument and make statements to disprove your counterpart’s opinion. Instead, you can tackle each of these common objections effectively by being inquisitive about them and asking a question in the opposite direction.
- The customer says, “I need to speak to somebody else before I make a decision about this.” You say, “What makes you say that?”
- The customer says, “I’m really not sure I’ve got the time to fit this in around what I’m doing now.” You say, “What makes you say that?”
This shift of control now leaves the other person obligated to give an answer and fill in the gaps in their previous statement.
#18 Before You Make Up Your Mind
Moving somebody from a “no” to a “yes” is nearly impossible . Before you can move someone to full agreement, your first action is to move them to a position of “maybe.”
- Look, before you make up your mind, let’s make sure we’ve looked at all the facts.
- Before you make up your mind, why don’t we just run through the details one more time so you can know what is that you’re saying no to?
#19 If I Can, Will You?
In situations where the prospect pushes back with reasons as to why they cannot do the things you would like them to do, they abdicated responsibility to something out of their control.
You have the power in these situations to remove the barrier by responding with a powerful question that eliminates the other person’s argument.
- “If I can pick you up and drop you off at home, then will you be able to be ready for seven pm?
- “If I can match that price for you, then would you be happy to place the order with me today?”
- When you say it, it communicates the other person you have the intention as well as power to make things work out for both of you.