8 out of 10

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Second book in Emily Oster’s series of parenting books that discuss the newborn to toddler stages.  She reviews the scientific literature to uncover the truths behind our conventional wisdoms while injecting humor throughout the book. 

Part One: In the Beginning

• Infant weight loss should be monitored and compared with expectations; you can do this yourself at www.newbornweight.org.
• Delayed cord clamping is likely recommended, especially if your baby is premature. Vitamin K supplements are a good idea. Eye antibiotics are likely unnecessary for most babies but are mandated in some states and have no known downsides.
• Swaddling has been shown to reduce crying and improve sleep. It is important to swaddle in a way that allows the baby to move its legs and hips.
• Exposing your infant to germs early on risks their getting sick, and the interventions for a feverish infant are aggressive and typically include a spinal tap. Limiting germ exposure may be a good idea, even if just to avoid these interventions.
• It takes time to recover from childbirth.  Exercise and sex will probably wait a few weeks until you’re feeling better.

Part Two: The First Year

Breastfeeding

• There are some health benefits to breastfeeding early on, although the evidence supporting them is more limited than is commonly stated.  There is no strong evidence that supports long-term health or cognitive benefits from breastfeeding.
• Skin – to – skin contact early on can improve likelihood of breastfeeding success.
• The majority of women will have their milk come in within three days after the baby’s birth, but for about a quarter, it will take longer.
• The biological feedback loop is compelling: nursing more should produce more supply.

Sleep

• There is good evidence that infants who sleep on their back are at lower risk for SIDS.
• Sleeping on a sofa with an infant is extremely dangerous
• There are some broad guidelines for sleep schedule.
  • Longer nighttime sleep develops around two months.
  • Move to three regular naps around four months.
  • Move to two regular naps around nine months.
  • Move to one regular nap around fifteen to eighteen months.
  • Drop napping around age three.
• “Cry it out” methods are effective at encouraging nighttime sleep training. There is no evidence of long – or short – term harm to infants.
• There is evidence that sleep training improves outcomes for parents, including less depression and better general mental health.

Other

• Vaccinations are safe.
• There is no evidence of a link between vaccines and autism, and much evidence to refute such a link.

Taking Care of the Baby: Nanny vs. Daycare

• Babies benefit from their mothers taking some maternity leave. However, there is little evidence suggesting that having a stay – at – home parent after the parental leave period has either good or bad consequences for children. Do whatever works for you.
• With any childcare arrangement, quality matters. For day care, in particular, you can use some simple tools to try to do your own quality evaluation.
• The positive effects of day care present more at older ages, the negative ones more at younger ages.
  • Keep the baby home (nanny) until 1-2 and then send to daycare.
• Kids in day care get sick more but develop more immunity.

Solid Foods

• Early exposure to allergens reduces incidences of food allergies.
• Kids take time to get used to new flavors, so it is valuable to keep trying a food even if they reject it at first, and early exposure to varying flavors increases acceptance.
• If they won’t eat the new foods, don’t replace the foods with something that they do like or will eat.  And don’t use threats or rewards to coerce them to eat.

Part Three: From Baby to Toddler

• Sitting/Standing/Crawling/Walking: Variation in motor development within the (very wide) normal range is not a cause for concern.  
• Television:
  • Your zero – to two – year – old cannot learn from TV.
  • A three – to five – year – old can learn from TV, including vocabulary and so on from programs like Sesame Street.
  • The best evidence suggests that TV watching in particular, even exposure at very young ages, does not affect test scores.
    • It is worth paying attention to what they are watching.
• Talking:
  • Girls develop language faster than boys, on average, although there is a lot of overlap across genders.
  • The timing of language development does have some link with later outcomes — test scores, reading — but the predictive power is weak for any individual child.
• Potty training:
  • Starting training earlier leads to earlier completion on average, although it generally takes longer; starting intensive training before twenty – seven months does not seem to lead to earlier completion.
    • Read: Oh Crap! and 3 – Day Potty Training.
  • Refusal to poop on the toilet is a common complication with some limited solutions (put diaper on baby to poop).
  • There’s no evidence linking age of potty training with any later outcomes like IQ or education.
• Toddler discipline
  • Parenting interventions: 1 – 2 – 3 Magic, the Incredible Years, and Triple P — Positive Parenting Program.
  • First, recognize that children are not adults, and you usually cannot improve their behavior with a discussion.
  • All these interventions emphasize not getting angry. Don’t yell, don’t escalate, and definitely don’t hit. Controlling parental anger is the first central part of the intervention.
  • Second, these approaches all emphasize setting up a clear system of rewards and punishments and following through on them every time.
  • Finally, there is a strong emphasis on consistency. Whatever the system you use, use it every time.
• Reading:
  • Reading to your child is important. 
  • Rather than just reading a book, kids benefit from being asked open – ended questions
    • “Where do you think the bird’s mother is?”
    • “Do you think it hurts Pop when the kids hop on him?”
    • “How do you think the Cat in the Hat is feeling now?”
  • Evidence on the value of different preschool philosophies is limited (Montessori, Waldorf, or Reggio Emilia).

Part Four: The Home Front

Marital Satisfaction:

• Marital satisfaction does decline, on average, after children.
  • Unequal chore allocation – women do more of the housework.
  • Parents have less sex and sex makes people happy
  • Parents also sleep less than couples without kids.
• There is some small – scale evidence suggesting marital counseling and “marriage checkup” programs can improve happiness.
  • Discusses your marriage – what do you feel is working?  What isn’t working? Are there particular areas of concern or unhappiness?

Multiple kids:

• Later-born children tend to do (slightly) worse on IQ tests and get less schooling than their earlier-born siblings due to lack of time and resources to devote to them.
• The data doesn’t provide much guidance about the ideal number of children or birth interval between them.
• There may be some risks to very short intervals, including preterm birth and (possibly) higher rates of autism.