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This is a story about Randy Pausch, a professor at Carnegie Mellon, who had terminal pancreatic cancer at 41.  He wanted to leave a legacy by writing about his life lessons to pass onto his young three children.

Overall, it makes you want to maximize the time you have on earth because you may find one day that you have less than you think.  Tell your loved ones that you love them. 

Learnings from his football coach:

• Fundamentals: You’ve got to get the fundamentals down, because otherwise the fancy stuff is not going to work.
• Feedback: “When you screw up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they’ve given up on you.” When you see yourself doing something badly and nobody’s bothering to tell you anymore, that’s a bad place to be. You may not want to hear it, but your critics are often the ones telling you they still love and care about you, and want to make you better.”
  • Dutch Uncle – a person who gives you honest feedback.  Need more of this nowadays. 
• Building self-esteem for kids: “You give them something they can’t do, they work hard until they find they can do it, and you just keep repeating the process.”
• Head fakes – teaching people things they don’t realize they’re learning until well into the process. E.g. sports teaches teamwork, perseverance, sportsmanship, value of hardwork, and ability to deal with adversity.

Lessons:

• Failures/Setbacks: Brick walls are there for a reason.  They’re not there to keep us out.  Brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.
  • Luck is indeed where preparation meets opportunity. 
    • Randy prepared 80+ hours and conducted interviews to nail his conversation to become a Disney Imagineer.
  • Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.  And experience is often the most valuable thing you can offer.
• Not everything needs to be fixed (dented cars or dented trash cans; as long as it works fine, don’t bother)
• Play the cards your dealt – Randy and his wife Jai had a premature baby and instead of saying this isn’t fair, they focused on things they can do to help the outcome in a positive way.

On Time Management:

• Time must be explicitly managed, like money – think of your hourly rate and outsource/delegate tasks to others that are cheaper than your hourly rate.
• You can always change your plan, but only if you have one – write out your goals, have a to-do list
• Ask yourself: Are you spending your time on the right things? Are your goals, interests worth pursing?
• Develop a good filing system – keep things organized (alphabetical, color coded, etc.)
• Rethink the telephone – use speaker phone and multitask; to have a shorter conversation – stand while talking or call at 11:55am (people want to eat lunch at 12:00pm).
• Delegate – maximize your time with tasks that only you can and should do.
• Take a time out – relax and recharge your batteries.

How to Live Your Life

• Dream Big and fuel your kid’s dreams (let them paint the walls!)
  • Let your kids find their passions and their path
• Don’t Complain, Just Work Harder – don’t whine; use that time and energy from complaining to solving the problem
• Treat the disease, not the symptom – get to the root cause
• Don’t obsess over what people think – no one really thinking about you; they’re probably concerned more about themselves
• Look for the best in people – assume positive intent
• Watch what they do, not what they say
• Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right – stay positive.
• Handwrite a thank you note
• Show gratitude, be a generous gifter

How to work in groups:

• Meet people properly– know their name and can pronounce it properly
• Find things you have in common– easier to connect with people so you can have disagreements later on
• Try for optimal meeting conditions – make sure people aren’t hungry, cold, or tired. Lunch meetings
• Let everyone talk– don’t finish anyone’s sentences; don’t interrupt
• Check egos at the door– label the idea, not the originator  – say “the bridge story” as opposed to “Jane’s story”
• Praise each other– find something nice to say, even if it’s a stretch
• Phrase alternatives as questions – Instead of saying: “I think we should do A, not B” try “What if we did A, instead of B”

How to give a proper apology (3 steps)

1. What I did was wrong.
2. I feel badly that I hurt you.
3. How can I make this better?